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15 Nov 2017

Urine Trouble

Haiku: 

I made a new game.

It's like the hokey pokey,

But with more urine.

13 Nov 2017

Pixie Stick

This gun is so small,

I like to say it's child sized,

Just like my penis.

11 Nov 2017

Finger Puppet

Haiku: 

Our shirts are the same,

But look! My hands are bigger!

That means I win, right?

09 Nov 2017
Haiku: 

Quiet, little one.

Don't let Kellyanne hear you.

She'll think it's lunch time.

08 Nov 2017

Spoon Man

Haiku: 

I did this before,

Back in the early eighties,

Except with cocaine.

07 Nov 2017

No Glove, No Love

Haiku: 

You have two choices:

You hold my hand in public,

Or my dong at home.

01 Nov 2017

She-Rex

Haiku: 

Damnit! Kellyanne!

You were supposed to dress up,

So you don't scare kids.

31 Oct 2017

Staff Infection

Haiku: 

Halloween's scary!

There are lots of ghouls and ghosts.

And that's just my staff.

19 Oct 2017

Cheese Dip

Haiku: 

The way I see it,

He knew what he signed up for.

Now let's get nachos.

12 Oct 2017

Ryan Heir

Haiku: 

Tweet away, fuck boy,

I'm two impeachments away,

From running this bitch.

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