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24 Mar 2017

Next of Skin

I gave her lotion,

And I put her down a hole.

What comes next? I'm stumped.

Haiku: 
23 Mar 2017

The Riddler

What's round and orange,

In the palm of millionaires,

And in court a lot?

Haiku: 
22 Mar 2017

Whole Latte Love

The ladies love me.

It's like I'm the pumpkin spice,

Of Vice Presidents.

Haiku: 
20 Mar 2017

Orange Crush on Tap

That awkward moment,

When you're wiretapping someone,

And he's into you.

Haiku: 
17 Mar 2017

Vomelet

Who needs Meals on Wheels?!

I eat diamonds for breakfast,

And shit Fabergé.

Haiku: 
16 Mar 2017

New Trump hair slippers!

Put your foot in Donald's head.

There's plenty of room.

Haiku: 
15 Mar 2017

Popcrone

Oh, don't mind me, folks.

Just microwaving my face.

How long for jerky?

14 Mar 2017

Lemonade

"Do you like it, Joe?

It's Beyonce's bath water,

With a shot of gin."

Haiku: 
10 Mar 2017

Slimer

This painting's haunted!

One night I walked by it nude,

And it vomited!

Haiku: 
08 Mar 2017

2020 Vision

Me. Trump. Thunderdome.

Two men enter, one man leaves.

I'll dust that Cheeto.

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