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06 May 2018

Dreamsicle

Haiku: 

That awkward moment,

When Donald Trump is impeached,

But you're still sucking.

28 Apr 2018

Blue Period

Haiku: 

I'm a work of art.

Like Monica Lewinsky,

Drawn by Picasso.

26 Apr 2018

Peezus

Haiku: 

That awkward moment,

When you expect R. Kelly,

And Kanye shows up.

25 Apr 2018

Milk Milk Lemonade

Haiku: 

She won't hold my hand.

She's been playing Lemonade.

Goddamn Beyonce!

21 Apr 2018

Note to Self

Haiku: 

When this is over,

Rent a room at Trump Tower,

And piss everywhere.

20 Apr 2018

Stormy Weather

Haiku: 

Let him fuck porn stars.

It means less groping on us.

So it's a win-win.

18 Apr 2018

Breakfast Club

Haiku: 

She's all over him,

Like he's a cheddar biscuit,

And she's the gravy.

17 Apr 2018

The Fixer

Haiku: 

We bomb Syria,

No more refugee crisis.

Problem solved. Bigly.

17 Jan 2018

The Spambuglar

My biggest secret?

I colluded with Russian,

and fucked a canned ham.

20 Dec 2017

Naughty List 2017

Haiku: 

I'm filling stockings!

With shitty tax cuts and coal!

At least it's clean coal.

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