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05 Jun 2017

Bad Blood

Haiku: 

What is she thinking?

"Congenital syphilis

Would explain a lot."

03 Jun 2017

Buttmunch

Haiku: 

For symmetry's sake,

I like to think his asshole,

Has an overbite.

03 Jun 2017

An Inconvenient Doof

Haiku: 

Durr, I'm climate change.

Durr, I'm completely made up.

Durr, I'll kill us all.

31 May 2017

Safe Words

Haiku: 

That awkward feeling,

When you've got a bigblacbonk

Up your covfefe.

30 May 2017

Jerkens

Haiku: 

Google image search:

"Melania Trump naked"

Now where's my lotion?

28 May 2017

Oh dear, we've crossed swords.

Like that one time at college,

When we drank Fireball.

28 May 2017

United Nations

Haiku: 

I have a request.

Let's skip the formalities,

And just start fucking.

26 May 2017

Landslide

Haiku: 

My informal poll,

Of America's panties,

Says I win, bigly.

26 May 2017

Twinsies!

Haiku: 

We're a lot alike.

We both won the Christian vote,

And we sleep alone.

23 May 2017

Letters to Santa

Haiku: 

I've been a good boy!

I want world peace, Comey dead,

And a new beanie.

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