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08 May 2017

Pisstol Whipped

Haiku: 

Come at me, Colbert!

But not literally though.

That's just for Putin.

06 May 2017

Small Favors

Haiku: 

Good news, gentlemen!

We still cover Viagra.

And that's about it.

04 May 2017

Deplorable Care Act

Haiku: 

Dear poor sick people.

You can all go fuck yourselves.

Love, Emperor Trump.

02 May 2017

Barack to the Future

Haiku: 

This job is fucking hard!

Barack made it look easy.

Can we get him back?

01 May 2017

Oh Captain!

Haiku: 

That awkward moment,

When you're against gay marriage,

And Chris Pine walks by.

30 Apr 2017

Piglet

Haiku: 

My son's so hamsome.

I think it's spelled "handsome", dad.

No. You taste like pork.

27 Apr 2017

Access Denied!

Haiku: 

That's the back door, Mike.

So unless it's your birthday,

You can stop knocking.

25 Apr 2017

Rublestiltskin

Haiku: 

Here's a secret, folks.

I don't know what I'm doing.

But I'm getting paid!

24 Apr 2017

Red Wedding

Haiku: 

Trump: Hello Siri.

Is Vladimir Putin gay?

Asking for a friend.

23 Apr 2017

Orange Julius

Haiku: 

I love my nap time.

Even though I wet the bed,

With Russian whore juice.

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