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30 Jan 2017

Pimping Iron

I'm on hold with Trump.

I told him I was Putin.

He's asking for nudes.

Haiku: 
29 Jan 2017

Viaggravating

Like my wedding night,

This might take a little while,

And a lot of force.

Haiku: 
27 Jan 2017

Frankendouche

One third George Peppard,

Two thirds Hannibal Lechter,

With a dash of Lurch.

Haiku: 
25 Jan 2017

Alternative Facts

I'm pretty and smart.

And I don't drink children's blood.

Everyone loves me!

Haiku: 
24 Jan 2017

Dubya Dubya Three

Sure, ya'll miss Barack.

But I bet you'll miss me too,

When Trump nukes Iran.

Haiku: 
24 Jan 2017

State Secrets

My favorite states?

Jersey, New York, denial,

Bliss, and my prostate.

Haiku: 
22 Jan 2017

Mockingjoe

I'll do it, Barack.

I'll volunteer as tribute,

If she calls your name.

Haiku: 
21 Jan 2017

R.S.V.Pee

Dear President Trump,

Suck my inaugural balls.

Much love, Joey B.

Haiku: 
19 Jan 2017

Arglegay Isspay

I changed the nuke codes.

I put them in Pig Latin.

He'll never crack it.

Haiku: 
17 Jan 2017

It's the weirdest thing,

Last time I was in Moscow,

Some chick peed on me.

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