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06 Apr 2017

Taco Lips Now

Haiku: 

You're dead meat Assad!

You're like carne asada.

Whatever that is.

04 Apr 2017

Putting on the Ritz

Haiku: 

You'll love this haircut.

Tight, white, and conservative,

It's called "The Cracker".

03 Apr 2017

Group Pees

Haiku: 

Trumpette requirements:

Viagra, botox, herpes,

And no gag reflex.

01 Apr 2017

Go Directly to Jail

Haiku: 

Put three hotels here.

If the Democrats land there,

We'll own their asses!

30 Mar 2017

Sleeper Agent

Haiku: 

Leave Mike Flynn alone!

He doesn't know anything!

Let's just let him sleep.

29 Mar 2017

Suffragette Twitty

Haiku: 

Don't get me wrong, folks.

Susan B. Anthony's great!

She's a 2, but great.

28 Mar 2017

The O'Really Factor

Haiku: 

I've got James Brown's hair?

No! I've got a brand new bag,

With Bill's nuts in it.

27 Mar 2017

Bill Collector

Haiku: 

How are we alike?

Both our wives sleep in New York.

Sometimes next to me.

25 Mar 2017

Snatching Victory

Haiku: 

They tried to fuck us,

But then they had to pull out.

Our shit is too tight.

24 Mar 2017

Next of Skin

Haiku: 

I gave her lotion,

And I put her down a hole.

What comes next? I'm stumped.

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