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Clinton

14 Jul 2017

One in the Hand

Haiku: 

I've been here before.

I've had two Bushes at once,

Like seventy times.

27 Mar 2017

Bill Collector

Haiku: 

How are we alike?

Both our wives sleep in New York.

Sometimes next to me.

08 Sep 2016

Pants on Fire

Haiku: 

My least favorite things?

Four words: "pantsuit fashion shows"

And "cunnilingus"!

17 Aug 2016

Huckster

Haiku: 

Every now and then,

Bill calls him Mike Huckabee,

Just to fuck with him.

01 Aug 2016

Ballers

Haiku: 

Oh, I get it now.

I thought it was called "Breast Mode".

That's disappointing.

07 Apr 2008

Afterthought

Best Of: 
Haiku: 

Aprons are handy,

you can spill things on your clothes

and they won't get stained.  

19 Feb 2008

Victory Lap

Haiku: 

Congratulations!

What say we get lap dances

in celebration?

17 Feb 2008

Fire in the Hole

Haiku: 

Oh, I know the risks...

Crabs twice, gonorrhea once,

and that's just college.

16 Feb 2008

Broken Promises

Haiku: 

When my term's over

it's golf, pizza and blow jobs

twentyfour seven.

15 Feb 2008

Open Door Policy

Haiku: 

Screw the border fence,

the path to citizenship

runs through my bedroom. 

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