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Trump

07 Jul 2017

Buzz Cut

Haiku: 

I've been to the moon.

I think it's time we go back,

And leave Trump up there.

01 Jul 2017

Evil Lotion

Haiku: 

Rare home video:

Ivanka and Eric Trump,

The Jurassic years.

30 Jun 2017

Press Briefing

Haiku: 

They're reversible.

Simply turn them inside out,

And shit out my mouth.

25 Jun 2017

Nutcracker

Haiku: 

Keep in mind, Eric,

I could crush you with my thighs.

Not in a good way.

24 Jun 2017

Making it Rain

Haiku: 

I'm Jared Kushner,

I'm the guy from the orgy,

Who cried the whole time.

22 Jun 2017

Double Stuffed

Haiku: 

Later that evening,

At Giuliani's penthouse:

Cookie crumbs and piss.

19 Jun 2017

Putin from the Green

Haiku: 

Here's what I'm doing:

Making America great

One hole at a time.

15 Jun 2017
Haiku: 

We hacked HBO.

I know how "Game of Thrones" ends.

Here's a hint: Pence wins.

14 Jun 2017

Lepre-con

Haiku: 

Evil leprechaun,

Or Attorney General?

I say: Why not both?

11 Jun 2017

Huggies

Haiku: 

He had Chipotle,

So he took a massive Trump,

In his big boy pants.

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