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Trump

30 May 2017

Jerkens

Haiku: 

Google image search:

"Melania Trump naked"

Now where's my lotion?

28 May 2017

United Nations

Haiku: 

I have a request.

Let's skip the formalities,

And just start fucking.

26 May 2017

Landslide

Haiku: 

My informal poll,

Of America's panties,

Says I win, bigly.

26 May 2017

Twinsies!

Haiku: 

We're a lot alike.

We both won the Christian vote,

And we sleep alone.

23 May 2017

Letters to Santa

Haiku: 

I've been a good boy!

I want world peace, Comey dead,

And a new beanie.

22 May 2017

Destroyer of Worlds

Haiku: 

Let's call Cthulhu!

And if he doesn't answer,

We'll try Ann Coulter.

21 May 2017

Tug of War

Haiku: 

Too much Viagra!

I'll be pulling on this bean,

'Til the sun comes up.

20 May 2017

Broke Record

Haiku: 

I'll get out of this.

I'll just file for bankruptcy.

It works every time.

18 May 2017

Putin on the Hits

Haiku: 

Where is this Comey?

I bet that he's the leaker.

Or he soon will be.

17 May 2017

Barffly

Haiku: 

I can't go to jail!

I'm too pretty for Club Fed!

They'll eat me alive!

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