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05 Feb 2019

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Haiku: 

And then Nancy mouthed

"I ain't no hollaback girl!"

Like 2004.

27 Jan 2019

The Stone Bone

Haiku: 

That awkward feeling,

When the Feds seize your dick pics,

And it turns you on.

23 Jan 2019

Toilet Bowl

If you win the game,

Lunch will be much fancier.

Think "Olive Garden".

21 Dec 2018

Yellow October

Haiku: 

He's like a track suit.

So many Russians own him,

And he smells like piss.

06 Nov 2018

Money Shot

Haiku: 

There's a caravan,

But it's heading for the House,

And you can't stop it.

25 Oct 2018

Pumpkin Patch

Haiku: 

You think this is bad?

The carpet matches the drapes.

They're orange and bald.

18 Oct 2018
Haiku: 

You're alright, Kanye.

I mean, I can't rent to you,

But you can visit.

16 Oct 2018

Close Enough

Haiku: 

I love Donald Trump!

And I love you too, Ray J.

Give your wife my best.

15 Oct 2018

Sheiks Up, Hoes Down

Haiku: 

Let me translate that:

It's an old Arabic phrase.

It means "bottom bitch".

13 Oct 2018

Ruthless

Trump can't replace me.

I've been drinking vampire blood,

For 300 years.

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