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Trump

06 Nov 2018

Money Shot

Haiku: 

There's a caravan,

But it's heading for the House,

And you can't stop it.

25 Oct 2018

Pumpkin Patch

Haiku: 

You think this is bad?

The carpet matches the drapes.

They're orange and bald.

18 Oct 2018
Haiku: 

You're alright, Kanye.

I mean, I can't rent to you,

But you can visit.

16 Oct 2018

Close Enough

Haiku: 

I love Donald Trump!

And I love you too, Ray J.

Give your wife my best.

15 Oct 2018

Sheiks Up, Hoes Down

Haiku: 

Let me translate that:

It's an old Arabic phrase.

It means "bottom bitch".

19 Sep 2018

Model Prisoner

Haiku: 

Zoolander's Blue Steel,

Has nothing on my new look:

Prison Shower Face.

13 Sep 2018

Preparation H

Haiku: 

We're prepped for this storm.

I'm sending paper towels,

And thoughts and prayers.

12 Sep 2018

Tweet Her

Haiku: 

I got a dick pic,

A tiny, orange dick pic.

God, I hate group texts.

28 Aug 2018

Spray on Tantrum

Haiku: 

Keep holding your breath.

Your orange skin won't turn blue,

But the Senate might.

21 Aug 2018

Grunge Phase

Haiku: 

I'll bury this here,

Right next to my hopes and dreams.

It's better this way.

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